Christmas Unveiled

We've reached the end of an era here at the Herzoff house. For the last month Naiya has questioned us regarding matters of Kris Kringle. We skirted around the matter and avoided direct answers as best we could, but the kids at school have been saying things to her for years. Most recently she asked if we were the ones who moved Freddie (our Elf) at night because a boy at school said he saw a website that gave ideas for the elf on the shelf. She came to us confused and seeking truth. We were forced to have the talk. It was a very sad and emotional day for us and I won't say I didn't cry. Naiya sobbed and sobbed, she was certainly not ready and felt strongly the loss of a childhood era she can't get back. She particularly felt the loss of her friend, Freddie. She wished she didn't know, wished for it all to be true, wished that the magic existed. Her reaction sent me into immediate regret, wishing I could take it back. But it could not be undone. I regretting her knowing, but how could I have continued to reassure her trusting little heart of something that was false? I knew that if she was old enough to ask then I must prove to her that she can always trust her parents to tell her the truth and be open with her. It was a very difficult moment for us.
She has since warmed up to the idea and asks questions regarding Christmas. "So you were the ones who stuffed the stockings?" "Were Santa's cookies good?" "So I really can touch Freddie?" "So the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy...." She has recovered I believe, and is willing to join the ranks of those who keep the magic alive for others. But still, what a hard Christmas this will be for me as there is no more anticipation for the magic of flying reindeer and a bag full of toys. I was even less ready than Naiya to move on from this. But life goes on and perhaps now it will be easier for her to understand why she doesn't get the expensive things on her list. She is excited for the thought that we can be secret santa's for someone who may be in need, she really liked that idea. And I like the idea that someday we will skip gifts altogether and just go on a trip or join Dando Amor at the orphanages in Ecuador. We'll see. For this Christmas though, we are keeping things as normal as possible so we can continue to help Naiya with this transition. She always feels her emotions more strongly than others, so I know it will take a little more time.
Sorry for the bummer post, let me share one silly thing. I was scanning through my blog and found a post from when Naiya was little, about 2 or 3. She was watching the garbage truck come empty our cans and began crying (with real tears) because they took our trash and we would never get it back. I always smile at the thought of this sweet tenderhearted girl. I just love her.