Ramblings of a Reminiscent Mother

I saw online yesterday that it's been 5 years since Elizabeth Smart was found alive. I can't believe it's been 5 years! Crazy to think about it! I've heard a lot of stories about kidnappings, but none have had such an impact on me as this one did. We were living in Utah at the time, so the media covered her disappearance pretty thoroughly. I remember sitting at home glued to the TV and crying as I held 2 week old Calin. This girl was kidnapped from her own bed, in an upscale neighborhood in Mormonville, while her parents slept in the next room. That, coupled with the recent 9-11 attacks, all I could think about was what a horrible world I've brought this new baby into and how could I possibly keep him safe? It overwhelmed me with fear.
I wanted so badly to help, to go and join the search party. But since I was still in postpartum recovery, searching for a dead body with a newborn in tow wasn't really the best idea. And so I just sat and watched stories about her and cried and listened as each lead they had fizzled out and hope grew dim. I would have dreams about finding her and taking her into my home where she was safe. Weird, I know, but my hormones were totally out of whack. It was just such a sad time.
I recall every time the news interrupted a show, I'd hope it was b/c they found her. Then, 9 months later, it finally did happen. I can't remember what I was watching, but the familiar news theme interuppted the show, and as always I listened with anticipation, and as soon as they announced it I burst into tears. I wrapped 9 month old Calin in my arms and just hugged him, grinning from ear to ear. Everyone jumped on the phone to share the news, overcome by joy that this girl has been reunited with her family. What a great day that was, a great week actually as the news continued to celebrate her homecoming and everyone seemed to be in the best of spirits.
And now here it is 5 years later. She's a 20 year old BYU student and my baby is in Kindergarden. When did I blink? When did he grow up? When did I grow up? What happened to the 21 year old scared new mom I used to be and that tiny high maintenance baby? So much has happened since then, things have changed, I've changed. I feel like I'm in an entirely different world than I was back then. And yet when I get to remembering specific memories they feel like they happened yesterday, and where did the time go?
Where will Calin and I be in another 5 years? We'll surely have forgotten all about kindergarden and learning to read and write, and swimming lessons and moving to Idaho. I wonder where we'll be and what stresses I'll have. Boy scouts, Little League, Smoking, Girls? It makes me sick to my stomach to even think about having a 10-11 year old. So for now I guess I'll just try to keep the thought out of my head and keep my worries as simple as I can, for as long as I can.

Me and 5 month old Calin (That's our backyard in Logan, Utah. Look at that beautiful river!

Darin and Calin age 1 1/2

Calin, age 3, with newborn Naiya