A Bit of Motherly Anxiety

I woke this morning feeling rather cranky and had the thought that I was quite glad I didn't have a baby. When you have a baby and wake feeling cranky from lack of sleep and your head is throbbing and your body aches, you have no choice but to get up and care for that screaming baby. With older kids I was able to lay in bed a little longer. Yes they came bounding into my room and onto my bed countless times, but I was able to shoo them away and put a pillow over my head to mute the noise. They were fine and happy and didn't need me. They even set the table for breakfast while they waited. That doesn't happen when you have an infant so this morning I was feeling particularly grateful that my children are bigger now.
I know I could handle a baby if I had one, but honestly, I just don't want to. I don't want to go through that phase of no sleep. Although, looking back I see that the baby phase is the easiest part of parenting. It's pretty simple stuff to just care for the kid. It's when they get older and you have to start teaching them stuff that things get tricky. Caring for a baby is no walk in the park, but the responsibility to hold it/feed it/change it/love it pales in comparison to the reesponsibility of raising children.
The responsibility of teaching these children right from wrong is often more than I can bear. I find myself often overwhelmed with the feeling that I'm failing my children. Not a great feeling. Mothering is by far the most difficult job in the world and I refuse to believe anyone who says otherwise. Doing an actual job, getting paid to deal with huge amounts of stress and working your way up the corporate ladder is nothing like mothering. What happens if you fail at your job? You lose it? No money? No food? That's a pretty huge deal and an enormous responsibility, but it is temporal stuff and can be remedied. As a mother, my view is on a much larger picture, our eternal existance. If I screw up teaching them it is the welfare of their souls that is at stake, and that lasts forever. That's a huge burden for me to carry on my shoulders. I worry enough about my own soul, that I won't be good enough, and to add on the souls of 2 other beings puts my stomach in knots. So what if I am good enough that I can be exhalted, if I don't have my children there with me, it seems it would have been in vain. I know that's not true but still it's how I feel. Darin has tried endlessly to comfort me concerning this matter and insists everything will be okay but I'm just not so sure. I have much less faith in myself.
I realize that my kids are ultimately in charge of their destiny. They chose to come here and to have the agency to make good and bad decisions. But I don't want to lose them. It's hard to belive they could choose a life other than what they know. I think about Adam and Eve and how Cain fell away. Lehi was a great man and while Nephi turned out to be spectacular, Laman and Lemuel rebelled. Heavenly Father had all us spirit children and still 1/3 of us followed Lucifer. The odds just don't seem to be in favor of parental success. It's great that so many of us chose to come down here in the first place, but I look around at the world and see how many people are choosing to follow Satan. I don't want my children to follow the crowd. I know at times they will but ultimatley I want them to have a full understanding of the Gospel so that they have a desire to live it. And I don't mean half heartedly. I don't want them to go along with it b/c it's what they've always known, I want them to find out for themselves that it's true, to gain a good honest testimony, and to live the gospel in the best way they know how.
Unfortunately, just wanting your kid to choose the right isn't enough and I have no idea how to get them to want for themselves the things I want for them. So if anyone has any suggestions for raising children to be righteous, please share! I'm open to advice and criticism and when it comes to my kids am always willing to admit that I need help.